Thursday 28 March 2019

Rainy Day Blues: Thursday March 28th!

To sit alone in the lamplight with a book spread out before you, and hold intimate converse with men of unseen generations--such is a pleasure beyond compare. -Kenko Yoshida, essayist (1283-1352) 



Good morning, I believe I left my phone on the small table by your front window last night. May I stop by after 10 am to pick it up? If not convenient then how about this afternoon when I come back from Naramata around 3PM? Corrine, as promised, I have attached the walking group pic. Cheers, Susan Hi Susan! Yes, we have your phone and I will be home after 10am. Lady Darjeeling left for yoga just before 9:00am so she might not be back when you pop by. Thanks for the snap. Trust your dad is feeling better. Cheers, Patrick! Thank you. See you after 10am. Dad is back to his ‘normal’ 

Hey Patrick, I guess this falls under the “better late than never” category. Pam showed me a picture of your surgery scar – very impressive – should attract the chicks. I hope your rehab goes well. But the real purpose of this email is to send you a very big Thank You!! The boys and I really appreciated you putting up with us.

Thanks for the great hospitality, great accommodations, great food(very impressed with your culinary skills) and most of all, great company. Always tons of fun hanging out with you and Chloe! And having Toshi there was an fantastic bonus! Love your house and very very jealous of posh digs that Chloe lives in.

I was going to send you a paper check for the $4.18 that was the increase in your heating bill but I knew you would want me to save the tree. I will recycle a bottle cap in your name. Keep up the psycho recycling but if you find yourself doing excessive had washing or not able to leave the house without touching your compost slop pail 15 times, please call 1-800-ECO OCD and get the help you need! I hope we can come and ski Apex again someday. Happy recovery and talk soon, Greg
Best email ever!!! LMAS!!!! Glad to have seen you three, i miss you guys❤️ Remember you are always welcome at the posh digs, the recycling is contracted out and there is no composting all the way up here!! Your favorite BC Niece/CousinđŸ˜˜

Hello Mikey GrĂ©goire, also known as Mighty Egor, [More lost in automatic dictation!], et al! Thank you for the wonderful email. You are to kind. [Toshi was delighted to have met you as well.] In the first instance, let me say that it was a pleasure to have you and the lads stay with us. Both Etta and Duke can hardly wait for next year's Apex run! However, more than that you do not know how much I appreciated the toll-free Eco-hotline. I simply do not know how I have managed to live without it. Unfortunately, I think the staff receiving the calls are planning to report me as part of the lunatic fringe survivalist recyclers. I can only assume this is due to the over fifty calls a day, spurred by the guilt that continually washes over me as a result of your stay and reluctance to compost and recycle, that I feel compelled to make. 

If you think that one stinking bottle-cap can rectify my PTSD you couldn't be further from the truth. In fact, I would like you to cut the cheque for the measly amount you mentioned although the real cost was in the hundreds of dollars. I had to replace the heater in the rumpus room as Cody left it on all night for the duration of his day and the coil overheated and melted. I can only thank my lucky stars the place didn't burn down.

On the other hand you might be pleased to know that only yesterday I managed finish the last of the prepackaged, [another example of the over-packaging which characterizes your carefree attitude towards Global Warming!], cheese slices which you left in the garage fridge in your haste to escape all of the despoilage you left in your wake. I didn't even bother to scrape off the mould as it was such a neon hue of green that I didn't need lettuce. Lady Darjeeling, on the other hand, did not fare so well as it seems the cheese did not sit well in her stomach. Too, too bad has she may find it difficult to drink fermented compost when we are in true survival mode brought about by your selfish, non-recycling behavior.

So please reconsider the amount on the cheque as soon as you receive this missive as we have an appointment to test drive the Hyundai Kona. Curious to see what this electric vehicle, somewhat similar in size to our GM Equinox, is like. As well, we are also reasonably close to deciding about having solar panels installed with an electric charging station as part of the package. Go Green Burns Street! Send cash not Bit Coin! It goes without saying, thank you for spurring us on in this direction. Were it not for your visit we might still be sending tons of garbage to our local landfill!

Must away as I need to take out the compost as well as the recycling. Fortunately there is very little of either as we are back to strict adherence to the foodstuffs we buy and how they are packaged. Lady Darjeeling did not need to buy any vegetables yesterday as I was able to find plenty in the various containers along our back lane, while the frozen bananas you left kept quite nicely in our compost bin. Not all of us can afford to holiday in Palm Springs and stay in 6,0000 sq/ft mansions or in huge, gas guzzling RVs in San Diego. Live your life as you see fit but don't bother to come crying to the Okanagan when hurricanes and tornadoes and earthquakes have destroyed Winnipeg and War Eagle and you are looking for a safe haven. You'll be dreaming of mould then, let me tell you! Other than that, stay well and I raise you, two bottle caps and three wine corks! Cheers, Patrizzio, The One-Armed, Crazed Bandito Recycler of the Burns Street Bottle Depot!

PS: Just to let you know I sent this message to Agnes and she replied that she always felt suspicious of you! PPS: Please find enclosed the staples from my shoulder incision. I'm sure you will need them to put some sort of shelter together after Armageddon!




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